{"id":2178,"date":"2020-04-20T15:51:44","date_gmt":"2020-04-20T15:51:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.heartofadoptions.com\/?p=2178"},"modified":"2024-03-04T14:12:48","modified_gmt":"2024-03-04T19:12:48","slug":"birth-moms-how-did-you-cope-after-placement","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/heartofadoptions.com\/birth-moms-how-did-you-cope-after-placement\/","title":{"rendered":"Birth Moms: How Did You Cope After Placement?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Every adoption is different, but one thing is for certain: placement day is really tough. For many birth moms, it\u2019s the hardest day of their entire life. There are so many emotions involved, so many fears and uncertainties. And the upcoming days, weeks and months after the placement are tough too. To many, it\u2019s known as \u201csurviving the first year.\u201d<\/p>\n

In order to prepare for these challenging and trying times, we\u2019ve asked some fellow birth moms for advice. Here are a couple of tips.<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Cherish the First Meeting<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    \u201cMemorize every moment of that first meeting you have with your baby. Remember their face, their little hands, and most importantly, that smell. These little memories will help you through the darkest of times.\u201d<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. Take Your Time With Your Baby<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      \u201cRemember that how much time you spend with the baby is up to you. Nurses may give you a hard time, but make sure you bond with your baby, nap with your baby, etc.\u201d<\/p>\n

        \n
      1. Take Pictures and Videos<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

        \u201cLike any special moment in life, you should try your best to document as much of it as possible. These photos and videos will be a welcome retreat for the months and years to come.\u201d<\/p>\n

          \n
        1. Get to Know The Adoptive Family<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

          \u201cBe in the room when they meet the baby. See the joy and love in their faces as they fall in love with the baby for the first time. Get to know the story, their past, present, and future. These little moments will help you cope with your decision later on and will provide you with a foundation for the relationship that you\u2019ll build with them over time.\u201d<\/p>\n

            \n
          1. Share Your Feelings With The Adoptive Family<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

            \u201cPlacing your child with an adoptive\u00a0<\/a>family is\u00a0a sad thing. There\u2019s no way around that, even if you know deep down it\u2019s the right thing to do. So, remember that you don\u2019t have to be strong all the time. You can cry, and you can share your feelings with the adoptive family. They care about you and they want to help. Beneath their joy, they feel your pain. At the same time, if you want to be alone – say it! Be clear with them and they\u2019ll do the same for you.\u201d<\/p>\n

              \n
            1. Manufacture Some Memories<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

              \u201cAs strange as it sounds, I recommend bringing some items to the hospital for the baby to wear. You can bring these items back home with you, and remember their smell. Not kidding, I carried the baby blanket around with me for a week after getting out of the hospital.\u201d<\/p>\n

                \n
              1. Embrace the New Normal<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                \u201cPlacement was really tough for me, and I realized that after I left the hospital, I kind of went into survival mode. I found that taking small steps to cope with this new reality was best for me. Eventually, after several months, life went back to normal and I was able to thrive and soar – but I didn\u2019t push it and those small steps really helped.\u201d<\/p>\n

                  \n
                1. Let Your Body Heal<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                  \u201cGiving birth is really tough on your body, and I don\u2019t think enough women really take the time to physically heal. Just because you don\u2019t have your baby to take care of doesn\u2019t mean you should jump right back into your normal life. You should take a moment to pause and let your body sort through the trauma it endured, along with your heart. Take naps, take warm showers\/baths, get a massage! Take advantage of what those hormones gave you! Pamper yourself a bit – get your nails and hair done.\u201d<\/p>\n

                    \n
                  1. Time is on Your Side<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                    \u201cTime won\u2019t heal your wounds, but it will make them hurt just a little less. Never give up, and always believe in your ability to make it through. Ask for help. Don\u2019t try to do everything alone. There are plenty of people who would be happy to give you the love and support you need.\u201d<\/p>\n

                    \u201cThere is no right way or wrong way to heal from this trauma. Everyone is different and everyone heals at a different rate. Don\u2019t let society make you feel like you \u201cgave up.\u201d That couldn\u2019t be further from the truth. You chose life, you chose love. There will be really bad days and lots of really good days. Treasure those and find peace within.\u201d<\/p>\n

                      \n
                    1. Lean on Community<\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                      If you haven\u2019t already, find a community to lean on that won\u2019t assign you feelings or force perceptions on you. Don\u2019t surround yourself with people who guilt you for not being totally heartbroken all the time. And conversely, don\u2019t surround yourself with people who completely invalidate your feelings of sadness or regret. You\u2019re going to experience a vast spectrum of emotion during this time and it\u2019s important that the people around you support you, no matter what feeling you\u2019re going through at that time. You need to have the freedom to experience it all.\u201d<\/p>\n

                      \u201cI found a lot of benefit in relying upon and leaning on other birth moms after placement. They were my saving grace. If you can, try to find a support group to help you through this time.\u201d<\/p>\n

                        \n
                      1. Never Forget the \u201cWhy.\u201d <\/strong><\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

                        \u201cDon\u2019t ever forget why you chose adoption for your baby. Sometimes, as time passes, moments get dark and you forget the \u201cwhy\u201d of it all. Life changes, but if you never forget why you did it in the moment, you\u2019ll always be able to go back to the love that was at the core of that very tough decision.\u201d<\/p>\n

                        \u2014<\/p>\n

                        We hope that these little pieces of advice can help you as you sort out all the difficult emotions involved in placing a child for adoption. If you are experiencing an unplanned pregnancy in <\/a>Florida right\u00a0now and considering \u201cgivingbaby up for adoption,\u201d we are here to help you. In speaking with us, there is no obligation to choose adoption. We simply want to help you understand your options and help you make the right decision for both you and your baby.<\/p>\n

                        You can reach us here at any time: Heart of Adoptions, Inc<\/a>or at 1-800-GO-ADOPT<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

                        Every adoption is different, but one thing is for certain: placement day is really tough. For many birth moms, it\u2019s the hardest day of their…Read More Birth Moms: How Did You Cope After Placement?<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":3,"featured_media":2179,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_acf_changed":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[11,14],"tags":[32,58,59,25],"acf":[],"yoast_head":"\nBirth Moms: How Did You Cope After Placement? - Heart of Adoptions<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Adoption placement for a birth mom is really hard. 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