How do I Select an Adoptive Family for my Baby?

By Meredith Shepard
April 3, 2024

You’re in an unexpected pregnancy and now you’ve decided that adoption is the right decision for you and your baby but now what happens? Many women want to know if they get to select a family and what type of things they will know about a family and what will be shared about them with the adoptive family selected.

Step One –

Talk with your caseworker.  The decision to choose adoption is hard. The importance of selecting an adoptive family that you feel is the best choice for raising your child is likely one of the most difficult and important decisions you will ever make. Discuss things such as what your interests are and if you want an adoptive family that shares these or not. If religion is important to you, what you hope to have in terms of post-placement communication, and have you thought about if it matters whether the family has other children or not? How you feel about types of prospective adoptive families- are you open to a single parent? How about a same-sex couple? Or do you have a preference for a heterosexual couple? Your caseworker will help you with determining what you want in an adoptive family to then take then next steps.

Step Two –

Your caseworker will request profiles to show you that meet your requirements and desires. Sometimes we have a lot of families that meet your requirements, others we only have a few. If you don’t like any of the profiles or don’t feel a connection, that is OK- just tell your caseworker and she can get more profiles for you to consider. At times, this step can seem overwhelming. It can be challenging to picture your child growing up in a family you don’t know, maybe in a state you have never been to, or in a family dynamic that you have no experience with. We encourage you to talk through this process with your caseworker.

Most profiles will have some general topics covered such as background info about jobs and their likes/dislikes for the adoptive parent(s) as well as how they met/the history of their relationship. It will also provide you with a glimpse of the home/community they are in and the type of activities they do or have access to. We encourage families to include what they feel is important for an expectant mom to know to make a decision.  Many times, expectant mothers can’t tell us what they don’t connect with for a profile- but they can tell us what they did connect with for the family they feel is right. Other times, we hear the things they don’t like and this can help us narrow down available families to present for consideration. There isn’t a right or wrong way to select a family- it is what feels right for you!

Last Step –

Once you have selected a family, your caseworker will work to get them notified. Based on your desires, we can then set up a phone call, video call, or even an in-person meeting if you want to connect prior to delivery. Some expectant mothers don’t want that and that is OK too. Remember- this is your adoption plan, you matter, and we will support your decision as to what level of interaction you want with the prospective adoptive family. Final Step- You feel confident in your selection, the adoptive family is honored you have selected them, and we proceed with supporting you with building the relationship and ensuring all of you feel comfortable. We can set up a group text if you want, we can help coordinate whatever level of interaction you want or don’t want. We want you to know you are in control of selecting the right family for you and your adoption plan.  

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