Happy Mother’s Day!
While most people know the significance of the second Sunday in May being the day to celebrate Mother’s Day, many don’t know that the second Saturday in May is known as Birth Mother’s Day. This isn’t a holiday that is marked on an average calendar, nor will you find an aisle of cards dedicated to this day. Birth Mother’s Day was created in the 1990s and the first inaugural celebration was held in Seattle, Washington. This day was created to celebrate the women who chose selflessness, who chose life for their child, and who chose to make the ultimate sacrifice to create an adoption plan.
If you are a birth mother, here are some ways to honor this day:
- Celebrate you! You are a mother. You may not be parenting, but you are a mother.
- Write a letter to your child about the things you have accomplished since the adoption placement and what hopes & dreams you have for them at this stage of their life.
- Reach out to a counselor or support person if you are struggling today.
If you are an adoptive parent, take the time to recognize your child’s birth mother today:
- Provide an update to them- whether pictures, letters or a video. Maybe even a call or text if you have that level of openness and communication.
- Have the child write or draw something to provide to their birth mother. Everyone knows those macaroni necklaces and handprint flower cards are the best and most cherished gifts! Or maybe take the time to send a simple gift, like a tumbler, or a self-care gift like lotion & shower gel.
And if you are the adoptee, sometimes Mother’s Day & Birth Mother’s Day can be difficult while other times they can be wonderful. It can bring up feelings of grief and loss and uncertainty about your beginnings. It can also bring up the assurance that you have two families that wanted the best for you and love you very much. To help you honor Birth Mother’s Day:
- Take the time to reflect on what you feel is most appropriate. Remember, there are no right or wrong ways to feel.
- Reach out to a counselor or support person if you are struggling.
- If you have contact with your birth mother, take the time to reach out to her. If you don’t have contact, you can still recognize her by planting a flower or tree that blooms around the time of your birth to honor her or donate time to a charity that helps mothers.
Remember, adoption is a complex triad, and any action you take could spark many emotions from all sides. May is the time to honor motherhood- maternal bonds, and the influence of mothers on society!