The Yucky Side- From A Birth Mother’s Perspective

By Meredith Shepard
May 14, 2019

Just so most know, I did keep my pregnancy a secret and didn’t brag or talk much about it. Only because I knew I was placing baby girl. But there comes a point where people start to put one and one together and they just stop accepting that little cover up that you constantly use, be it close friends or family. I understand I never gave them a chance to grieve for the child I carried but honestly I felt because of my past I was tired of their judgmental thoughts and always counting on my next mess up in life to be thrown in my face. So yes, now that the critters are coming out of the wood work I had a tug on my heart that said it was time to let this life-long friendship go-please trust when I say I had prayed on this for days. At the end of the day I still support my decision and the person I have become from it. I have no regrets about this and I know that God completely loves and supports me for my decision.

I have to look at my life now and think of how happy, healthy and well I’m doing. I have amazing friends now who accept all of me- the good, the bad, the ugly. And I have an amazing support system that picks me up when I am down. Also, a great man who will always be there for me. I can’t even begin to say how greatful I am for him and my best friend. They are my rocks, they make me want to be a better person everyday and because of them I have been. My life is not perfect. The last time I checked neither were the ones who have been judging me. But that’s when it comes time to cut those toxic ties. Mentally, I just can’t deal with them anymore. Not if I want to keep on my path I’m on. I’ve came too far. I promised in the beginning this definitely wasn’t sunshine and rainbows and I apologize for being a little gloomy on this one but just like everything else-this feeling too shall pass. And life is getting better and will continue to.

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