Birth Mother’s Day

By Julia Diamond
May 8, 2020

Mother’s Day may be a joyous holiday for adoptive parents, but that’s rarely the case for birth mothers. As you look forward to celebrating Mother’s Day this weekend, take a moment and think about your child’s birth mom and what you can do to honor them on this special day.

When thinking about your child’s birth mother around Mother’s Day, it’s important to remember that she is not experiencing what you’re experiencing. Instead, she’s probably feeling overlooked or forgotten. She’s always probably grappling with feelings of loss, and being reminded of just how far she is from her child.

As an adoptive parent, you can help her through this time. Whether it’s on Mother’s Day or Birth Mother’s Day, you can choose to acknowledge and honor her in a unique way. Big or small, even the simplest of gestures would mean the world to her. Here are a couple of ideas of how you can honor your child’s birth mother on this special day.

Special Note or Drawing From The Child

There is nothing more special than a handmade letter or drawing from a child. Plan ahead, get crafty, and help your child make something special for the birth mom for Mother’s Day. If you’re in need of ideas, Pinterest is always a great place to look for Mother’s Day craft ideas. Of course, you’ll need to adapt the craft to reflect the situation, but no matter what – this gift will be deeply appreciated.

Photos or Personalized Videos

You may already send photos and updates to your child’s birth mother. That’s great! But sending an extra on Mother’s Day would mean the world to her. As you probably know, you can never have enough pictures of your child! Again, if you’re feeling crafty, you could even create a collage or scrapbook.

You could also make a personalized Mother’s Day video from your child if you feel comfortable. It doesn’t have to be elaborate – just something quick and from the heart. There is nothing more visceral than seeing and hearing your child say, “I love you.”

Pamper or Treat

Mother’s Day is the day that we pamper our moms and shower them with love. Why not do the same for your child’s birth mom? If you’re feeling generous, consider sending her a gift card to hair or nail salon, or maybe a nearby spa. You could also consider sending her a personalized gift basket for a more DIY spa night at home. You could include things like sheet masks, bath bombs/salts, scented candles, etc.

Something Simple

If you’re scrambling around last minute, trying to figure out what to do – just do something simple. Send her a card, have some flowers delivered to her door. If anything give her a phone call. Since we’re in the middle of a nationwide shutdown right now, you could even do a video call (By now, you’ve probably mastered Zoom lighting!).

Remember, it’s not important what you do. It’s just important that you do something. If you’re an adoptive parent, take some time to show your child’s birth mother that she is loved and remembered if your post-adoption situation allows.

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