Building a Bond: Tips for New Moms When Adopting Babies

By RedWallPPC
May 25, 2024

Imagine you’ve gone through all the steps to adopt a newborn. You’ve done a home study, found a birth mother, and selected the right type of adoption.

The only step left is to bring your baby home with you. That can be one of the most difficult steps because the closeness you hoped to have with them doesn’t always happen right away.

Here are some tips to help build a bond when adopting babies.

Skin-to-Skin Contact

Science has shown there’s no such thing as holding a baby too much. It releases chemicals in both of you. One of the most powerful is oxytocin, the “love hormone.”

The closeness it creates provides more than physical comfort. It also helps regulate the baby’s heart rate, breathing, and temperature. They’ll feel safe and warm with you.

Get skin-to-skin contact whenever you can. Try putting the baby in slings or wraps while going about your day. It’s known as “kangaroo care” because it resembles a kangaroo holding her joey in her pouch.

Eye Contact

Feeling you is only one part of the equation; they need to see you as well.

Maintaining eye contact with babies is essential. Give them a kind look and a smile along with a gentle touch. It helps them feel safe and teaches them to understand emotions.

Conversation and Sound

Get your adopted baby accustomed to the sound of your voice. It helps them develop a positive association with you.

Talk to them using baby talk. Sing them lullabies, play them music, or read books to them. It strengthens your bond and their language skills.

Responding to Cues

Babies give many cues besides crying to indicate what they need. Responding to them deepens your bond. The deeper your bond, the easier the cues are to recognize. It also helps their emotional regulation skills. 

Respond quickly, softly, and gently. It lets them know you’re a safe, helpful caregiver.


Playtime is bonding time if you maintain eye contact and add physical touch.

Get them on the floor for “tummy time,” cuddling with them as they learn to move. Choose age-appropriate toys that stimulate their development, and add in games such as peekaboo.


Bonding difficulties are to be expected with a newborn. It can take a long time, especially when they’re less than six months old.

Focus on enjoying life with your new baby. Soak up the laughter and keep believing that your bond will get stronger.

Try to figure out what they like and don’t like. Don’t be surprised when their preferences change from day to day. 

Taking Care of Yourself and Finding Support

The process of adopting babies is daunting. Take care of yourself so that you can take care of your family.

Ask for help when you need it. Get support from:

  • Family members
  • Local playgroups
  • Mom circles

Bond With the Right Agency for Adopting Babies

Tips for bonding after adopting babies include physical closeness, communication, and responsiveness. Be patient, take care of yourself, and get support as you wait for the bond to grow.

Heart of Adoptions Inc. is a licensed, private adoption agency. Our talented team has placed over 2,258 children, completed over 1,527 home studies, and served over 2,655 birthmothers.

We strive to make every adoption experience the best it can be. Contact us for an individualized adoption plan today.